That down feeling...again ~sigh~

I think I'm still in search of myself. Life at times can be fun and happy, but in a matter of seconds everything just turns 360 and I feel down, almost to the point of feeling depressed. Why can't I just be insensitive like other people? Why do I get emotional in just an instant, when I know I shouldn't be doing that? Why do I feel happy for people, when deep down inside I kind of envy them? I need to get the fact straight. Life is not perfect. Things don't go as I hope, then that's that. I constantly need to remind myself of this and how grateful I am to have beautiful, loving people around me..But still, my mind sometimes wanders to unnecessary thoughts..haiyaa